Just for Laugh

Just for Laugh

Answers of a brilliant student who obtained 0%

Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?

* his last battle

Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

* at the bottom of the page

Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?

* liquid

Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?

* marriage

Q5. What is the main reason for failure?

* exams

Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?

* Lunch & dinner

Q7. What looks like half an apple?

* The other half

Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?

* it will simply become wet

Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ??

* No problem, he sleeps at night.

Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?

* You will never find an elephant that has only one hand..

Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ?

* Very large hands

Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?

* No time at all, the wall is already built.

Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?

*Concrete floors are very hard to crack.

GIRLS IN IT TERMS

GIRLS IN IT TERMS

HARD DISK GIRLS: She remember everything,forever.

RAM GIRLS: She forgets about you,the moment you turn her off.

WINDOWS GIRLS: Everyone knows she can't do a thing right but no one can live.

SCREEN SAVER GIRL: She is good for nothing but at least she is fun.

INTERNET GIRL: She is difficult to access.

SERVER GIRLS: She will be always busy when you need her.

MULTIMEDIA GIRLS: She makes horrible things looks beautiful.

CD-ROMS GIRLS: She is always faster and faster.

E-Mail GIRLS: Every 10 things she says,eight are nonsense.

VIRUS GIRLS: Also Known as "WIFE" when are you not expecting her,she comes installs herself and use all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will loose something. If you don't try to uninstall her you will loose everything. 

HOW TO KILL A LION.......Good one.

Hello Friends,

Few Days before I got this artcle through mail from one of mine friens. I really liked it. So Thought of sharing with you all:

COMPANIES FOLLOW THE FOLLOWING METHODS:

Cognizant Method:

hire a lion... ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to do.
give him gobi 65 to eat again and again.
hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sit
give them same gobi 65 to eat
hire 200 more....... and more .......

TCS method:

hire a lion
give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary
lion dies of hunger and frustration


IBM's method:

hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour ...
he dies of unemployment...

Syntel Method:-

Hire a Cat ...
assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches onsite and
make sure that he never reaches onsite.
Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion....

Tech Mahindra method:

hire the lion, make him take 14 tests and tell him that if he doesn't score 60% he will lose the job.
lion dies of the strain?

i-Flex method:

hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African safari
for implementing flexcube in god forbidden territories, tell him if he comes
alive he will get band movement (promotion)
holy cow dies in fear of the real lion

COSL Method:

hire a lion .
tell him to merge with Goats (polaris) and reduce his allowance...
lion dies from fear that tommorrow he might become a goat....

Polaris Method :

hire ..sorry....purchase a lion(COSL) ..
change his timings...(instead of 9 AM ...change it to 8:30 AM )
cut down his allowance (coupons etc)
lion dies from fear of becoming CAT.....


Patni method:

hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat...
the lion dies before joining....


Wipro Method:
Hire a Lion,
give him a mail Id.
he will die recieving stupid mails all day........!!!!

Accenture Method:

Hire a lion...
Send him to chennai
Ask him to stay on bench for a long time
Ask him to eat idli,Dosa and Vada
No hindi, kannada or no other languages speaking ppl other than TAMIL...
No good food, No water..and specially No Beautiful girls
And lion dies

Really Funny Jokes

Really Funny Jokes

Question : What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?
Answer: tea please

Question : Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea ?
Answer : Ceylon tea 

Question : How would you like it ? Black or white ?

Answer: white

Question: Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ?
Answer: With milk

Question: Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk
Answer: With cow milk please.

Question: Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?
Answer: Um, I'll take it black. 

Question: Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?
Answer: With sugar

Question: Beet sugar or cane sugar ?
Answer: Cane sugar

Question:White , brown or yellow sugar ?
Answer: Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead.

Question: Mineral water or still water ?
Answer: Mineral water

Question: Flavored or non-flavored ?
Answer: I'll rather die of thirst

Jokes on Sardar Ji...........Enjoy

Hello Friends,

Lets have some fun time. Lets enjoy the day with some famous jokes on Sardarji.

SARDAR JOKES…….Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!

• A sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and Suffered huge Loss. Do u know what the business was? . . . .. . . . . .. . . He opened a Saloon in Punjab!

• A sardarji photographer is focusing a dead body's face in a funeral function, suddenly all dead persons relatives beat him. Why? He said "SMILE PLEASE"

• Sardarji gets ready, wears tie, coat, goes out, climbs tree, and sits on the branch regularly. A man asks why he does this. Sardarji: "I've been promoted as branch manager."

• Why is a Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open mouth................. Because his doctor advised him "Today's dinner should be light"

• One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college. U know Why? Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...

• Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant: It's already raining. Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.

• Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever - What will come first, Chicken or egg? O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.

• A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji. He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

• Postman: - I Have To come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet

Sardar: - Why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....

• A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce. Judge asked: How'll U divide, U"VE 3 children? Sardar replied: Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR

• Sardar's wish: when i die, i wana die like my grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not screaming like all d passengers in d bus he was driving..

• A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid. A Sardar stands up- We must find & stop her!.

• A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan Singh goes walking at evening not in the morning. Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.

• Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital. The Chinese friend just says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies. Sardarji goes 2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words. It is 'U R STANDNG ON the OXYGEN TUBE!"

• Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed. His wife asked what you are doing. He said-I am seeing how I look while sleeping.

• Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it? Guess what...---To avoid side effect!!!
• Man: Sardarji where were u born? Sardarji: Punjab. Man: Which part? Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body is born in punjab".

• IN COURT during a case: Lawyer to Sardar: Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke Sardar: yeh kya, Sita pe haath lagaya to court me bulaiya. ab kehte ho gita pe haath rakho.....

• Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing me. I don't know how she got my no, She interrupts whenever I call someone and says "please recharge your card"

• A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found Mrs Sardar painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall. She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For best results put on two coats"

• A sardar was drawing money from ATM, The sardar behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****). The first sardar replies, Ha! Ha! Haaa! U r wrong, Its 1258.

• Q:) How do u recognize a sardar in school or college???

A:) They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard... BOLO tarara!!

• Q:) Why did the sardarji sleep with a scale? A:) Because he wanted to measure how much he has slept........
• Santa Singh MBBS. After finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his own practice. He checked his first patient's Eyes, then the Tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch. Finally he said Battery is Ok !!!